Reflections on home old friends, past loves, and feeling like somehow this is it for me.

I sit here at my computer this evening typing out some random thoughts that have been going through my head lately trying to make sense of it all. A few months ago i got the news that Lisa is once again pregnant(as if i didn't learn the first time) and now the most recent developlment is that there is a distinct possiblity that she could be carrying twins. This has forced me to rethink my entire life's path. At tis point i can no longer consider moving back home alone and just try to work out joint custody. If in fact it is Twins that means now i am to be the father of 3 children. I know that for my own purposes i want to be back home, i miss many of the friends that i left behind there as well as the family that my daughter who is nearly 2 years old still is yet to meet. And becasue of work and wanting to be able to provide for my daughter a slew of broken promises to that same group of freind adnfamily about me coming home to visit. I have come to the clear realisation that i may never in fact have the opportunity to move back home, i may neve be able to once again pursue an active freindship with all those that are back in ottawa and that i might as well resign myself to just living with the fact that i think at least for now this is it for me. From this day till the day my kids go on to do great things in their own lives i am stuck here in a city where i have no real friends becasue a) i work to much to bother being able to pursue any form of meaningful relationship with those around me and b) because the majority of my spare time is spent wither fighting with the mother of my children or actually getting the opportunity to ty my best to be a better father to my kids than i had as a child(not my adopted parents, i love you all with all my heart that comment goes out to my birth father, not that he has the intelligence or presence of mind to ever actually use a computer let alone ever read my blog)

THis situation really did not bother me all that much until i signed up for an account on Facebook, do not get me wrong i love facebook and the fact that it has given me the opportunity to network with so many people that i had lost touch with and others that i had for the most part forgotten i had really ever had feelings for. The problem with it is seeing all those freinds that i had left behind all still spending time together and moving on with their lives without me. thus enters my dilema, should i resign myself to being "stuck" here and trying to make due with the happiness of life with my children but the sadness that i will most likely never again have the opportunity to spend time with old freinds any more that mabye once a year when i get some vacation time off from work and can afford the $5000 trip to take me and my kids to ottawa to see everyone, or do i take the chance try and pursue my own hapiness and eventually get caught up in a bitter custody battle that (becasue i am the father and courts rarely side with the father in custody cases) very well lead to me never seeing any of my children ever again, whats more is it fair to my children for me to make that decision selfishly pursuing my own happiness over their wellbeing.

It would be alot easier if i could convince the morther of my children to move back to ottawa with me but is it honestly fair of me to ask her to leave all of her freind and her family just so i can be happy?

I Hate, Loathe, Despise …… (add your own word of utter disdain here) the Manitoban NDP Party.

First off I believe that Gary Doer is an absolute idiot that would have a better place as a tackling dummy or some dude being shot out a cannon into a pool of sharks with “fricken lasers attached to them” than as the head of the Provincial Government. My hate for the Manitoba New Democrat party has always been there, as well I am a firm believer that federally the NDP party should never ever ever ever ever ever ad infinitum gain even a minority government standing hell I am pissed if they are even the official opposition. However my hatred as of late has been transformed into rage. Not the rage that I felt when they decided to fire David S. Goyer from the Flash project only to green light a story in which if the Flash runs south he goes back in time and if he runs north the goes forward in time, no that pissed me off and made me want to firebomb a movie studio the rage I feel makes me want to launch a revolution and have the entire NDP Caucus tarred feathered and run out of town.
The Straw that broke the camel’s back was this. The NDP party began doing party advertising for a feel good campaign telling people that they should be happy with the state of affairs in Manitoba as they currently are. Now you may be saying well that’s not soo bad all governments do that, to make people feel good about the government they now have, and to attempt to make all those people who did not vote NDP(such as myself) feel better about having them in power. I will agree, true they do and although I feel that a government should not have to advertise that things are well and we should all be happy in this case I am even more upset. The NDP Propaganda Machine began airing the commercials the Day after a provincial election was announced, which is both a) just downright fucking underhanded and b) Totally in contravention with the Elections Financing Act.
So I have had It, I will no longer attest that although the NDP should never attain a federal standing they are good for provincial governing. ‘Cause they just aren’t. Politics are underhanded enough without Parties trying to brainwash the people into feeling like everything is ok when in reality things are not. Manitoba has the highest crime rate per Capita than any other city in Canada. (For Christ’s sake last week Julian Dimech, an intensive-care anesthesiologist from Newcastle, England was biking across Canada and happened to stop in Winnipeg, as he was asking one of the local tourism offices for a map his bike was promptly stolen. Thankfully people in Winnipeg are also fairly generous and the community pulled together to get him a new bike from one of the local shops.) Winnipeg also has the highest murder rate in the country not per Capita just period. More people are scared to walk around in the north end of Winnipeg than are scared to flash money in around Jane and Finch in Toronto and that is definitely saying something. Now I realize that the Crime problem is not the fault of the NDP Government, but they have also not done very much to help alleviate the problem, and to tell the people in the province that everything is fine when clearly things are not fine is just simply wrong.
Gary Doer and the rest of the NDP party both federally and in every other province are now on my blacklist, and all you tree hugging, Kumbaya singing, 7th Heaven watchers that comprise the general populace of the NDP supporters will receive a prompt fuck off and die everytime you try to tell me that they are better for the people.

Why the world (Or at least Winnipeg) really does need Batman…….. An Outraged citizen’s perspective on vigilante justice.

Ok so roughly a year ago there was a story on the news a father had left his best friend to babysit his 12 year old daughter while he went out to get some more beer for a bbq. Now the only reason the father went and got the beer himself was because his friend had already had too much to drink. Upon arriving back at home he was shocked to see his best friend on top of his daughter pinning her to the couch, he was so shocked in fact the he promptly beat the living shit out of his best friend and put him in the hospital. A couple days later I was shocked to find out that the best friend was going to get a slap on the wrist because of his “diminished capacity” (he was fucking drunk it’s not like he was mentally challenged) but apparently he had a good lawyer. Whereas the father was being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law on 1 count of attempted murder (not aggravated assault due to the circumstances but attempted murder).
Now as a new father this whole situation blew my mind, if I were to catch my best friend in the act of “raping” my daughter, (and I put raping in brackets because my best friend has made it abundantly clear that on my daughters 18th b-day he is taking her out and getting her drunk and knowing Julian she would probably end up wanting to sleep with him. ( No I do not actually think Julian will sleep with my daughter. but knowing him and they way he is around women she would probably want him to) But if I were to catch him in the act of actually raping her I would do the exact same thing and I do not think there is a father on the planet that would tell you otherwise.
Luckily I was not the only outraged person and the jury decided it was a crime of passion, and he was given probation and anger counseling. Now although I think is better than jail but I do not think he needed any punishment whatsoever he did what any father would have done in his situation. This story totally had me advocating vigilante justice but because in my eyes justice had been served (aka the guy got beaten within an inch of his life) I was not totally upset.
This morning that all changed. At roughly 4pm yesterday out in front of the public safety building (for anyone not familiar with Winnipeg that is City Hall/Police Headquarters) there was a teenage boy accosted and robbed for everything he owned his wallet his sneakers his skateboard anything of value, the fucking kicker is that there were at least 5 police officers in the front lobby at the time who watched the whole thing happened and did not do a fucking thing, which leads me to the question why the fuck do we need them anyways. If police are more involved with putting grow ops out of business because they are growing a substance that in the next 15 years will probably be legal and taxed by the government anyways rather that the “real” crimes out there we need someone to fight for the rest of us. I am tempted myself to go buy a Batman costume and do it on my own but I am too out of shape is there anyone that will answer the call… probably not but we need it none the less.
Now just as I was about to finish this article the world decides that wait police were not stupid enough and thought I needed more fodder to convince you all so here it is. Recently(not sure of the exact date they did not say it on the news) a gentleman was walking in downtown Calgary, as he walked up to a corner and waited for the light to change he noticed the man next to him smoking crack in a pipe out in broad daylight. So rather than subjecting himself to the fumes he decided that since there was no apparent risk he would cross the street. Now a Police officer who had been standing across the street had watched him “Jaywalk” and proceeded to give the man a $250 ticket completely ignoring the man walking nonchalantly past him smoking his crack pipe. Thank you law enforcement I fell much more protected next time I get mugged remind me to call the Watchmen long before I call you piss poor excuses for law enforcement why don’t you all just take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

How I got to Winnipeg.

Well Julian and I had been living in ottawa again after coming from Halifax for roughly 8 or 9 months and that was long enough to be well reminded of all of the reasons we had left in the first place. So far since we had been back I had worked for an internet cafe that had been a front for a secret Cocaine Dealer. That was a ton of fun..... Julian and I had both met girls that either A) were completely interested in someone else(the same girl) or totall insane(2 different girls). There came a day when we both said fuck it.. we decided that now was a good time to leave again. We each put a bunch of names of cities that we wanted to go to. Everything from Phuket Thailand to Whitehorse. As it turned out the 2 names that we pulled out of the hat were. Winnipeg and St. Johns Newfoundland.(in retrospect we probably just should have gone to St. John's anyways.) We flipped a coin and the coin said Winniopeg so we packed all that was important to us and left Ottawa once again.

Now before we go to Winnipeg there was a horrible 31 hour bus ride. 31 hours on a bus sucks especially in the dead of summer without any air conditioning. By the time we got off the bus we both smelled severely of major ass but that was nothing compared to what we were exposed to in the bus terminal it was almost enough to make us get back on the bus and head back to Ottawa.

First the only thing you could smell in the bus terminal was fumes from the bus and Glue(yes thats right glue) the poor people in winnipeg are so poor that they can not even afford real drugs and they had to sniff glue, hell the more better off poor people could not even afford to huff gasoline, (I mean with the economy the way it is these days and the Evil Warlord emporer Bush butchering people overseas who can afford gasoline these days, you pretty much need to take out a 2nd, 3rd and 4th mortgage on your house every 2 days just to keep your car on the road. but thats not really part of the story sorry I had to let it out.) and Second we got into town on a friday night at close to 8pm. Now every other city on the face of this planet in the downtown core is where you want to be on a friday night(hell the market in ottawa is packed till 3am on any given night, besides Sundays when the entire population of the city is ligned up for retro 80's night at barrymores on bank) Not Winnipeg though the downtown core was a fucking ghost town i could have sworn i actually saw tumbleweeds rolling down Portage avenue.

It did not take Julian and I long to get ourselves settled I met a girl Lisa who eventually became the mother of my daughter. It was not planned and although I am still not sure how I truly feel about the situation i am in, I love my daughter and could not picture life without her. julian on the other hand met a nice girl and then whisked her away to edmonton where they are now a happy couple (at least together) Julians happiness on any given day is soley based on whether or not he encounters absolute stupidity at any given point. Check out his blog at http://www.thingsthatmakemyheadexplode.blogspot.com and you will understand exactly what I mean about that.

So for now I am stuck in Winnipeg, in a situation that may or may not drive me to a psychotic episode. My only wish is that i will be able to evenutally make it back to ottawa to be with my own family and see my old friends.

Wishes : When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Tim Goes To bar too shy to pick up girl and gets severly cockblocked by his best friend.

This is a realatively short story but looking back on it its actually pretty funny. Not long after Julian came back to town Julian, Dan, Me and the rest of our "Bistro" Crowd (anyone who has ever been to hull will probably know The Bistro for one reason or another) This night was goig pretty much like any onther monday, Vic was spinning in the booth, and we were drinking $8 Pitchers like they were going out of style. A couple of girls walk in and It has been probably a year or so since Crystal and I had broken up and i had not really dated anyone, my freinds being a little concerned mainly because there was a girl i liked but did not have the guts to tell. (still have yet to tell her) So they decide to walk up to a group of girls that are sitting at a table and tell them that if one of them does not agree to go out with me i am going gay. Well would you know it not a single one of them said fine even out of pity... when that happened i turned completely red and almost passed out from embarassment. Moral of this story if your friends are planning on picking up girls for you. kick them in the nuts hard before they get the chance.