October 18 1995
Well I am 16 years old. My life has not been uber shitty up to this point. Sure I had, had a realtively traumatizing childhood, abuse all that kind of stuff but i had gotten out of that when i got adopted. My mothers Aunt and Uncle were now my Parents my cousins were now my brothers, My mom was my cousin and my grand parents were not my aunts and uncles( a little confused? imagine how I felt at 9 years old). So my Aunt Mother and Uncle Father who I will from hereafter refer to as mom and dad (unless otherwise specified) treated me really well, I got pretty much everything I wanted(within reason) , and my life was infinitely better than it had been previous to that. For some reason though I could not keep myself out of trouble. It wasn't for lack of knowledge or boredom, just for some reason which to this day I still do not understand I was not able to diminish my criminal instincts. I was caught shoplifting more times that i can actually count not to mention I stole things from my family. So it should not have come as a shock to me.
So here I am 16 years old my parents don't trust me as far as the can throw me simply because I havee never given them any reason to, everytime they tried to do something that would extend their trust I would do something stupid to fuck it up. So as I said the Date is October 18th 1995 I decide that today I am going to once again skip school because I am bored, but there is nothing for me to do so I break into my own house(obviously my parents did not trust me enough to give me a key) and then I make quite possibler the stupidest descision I have ever made in my life(or at least up until that point) I decide that hell it was so easy to break into my own house hell lets try the neighbours as well. My parents lived in a condominium complex so the houses were attached, all I did was go into our attic and kick the wall down Voila I was in my neighbours house.
I don't actually remember stealing anything I was just there to see if I could do it and to see what their house looked like. They had a really nice piano in their living room and generally their house was pretty nice. I left through their front door leaving it unlocked ad proceeded to hit the mall. The only problem was(and I did not know this at the time) but stupid amature me had left my boy scouts flashlight with my name engraved on it on my neighbours desk.
As I was on my way back home from the mall I noticed 2 police cars out in front of my house and I knew I had been busted. I went and hid in some bushes for what seemed like forever until the police left and then non chalantly walked in my house to my mom on the phone with my aunt Diane explaining that she could take it no longer and that she was going to make me leave. Being a pig headed 16 year old I got pissed and started packing getting angry at her for punishing me for my own stupidity. I look back on it now and I know I would have done the same but then all I could think was how mad i was not because I was being kicked out but simply because i had gotten caught.
Now I had run away from home many times before but there was always one thing I had known in the back of my head. no matter how long I stayed away for or where I went. There was always a home for me to come back to. But when I had finished packing all my stuff and was heading out the door my mother didn't even say a word to me, I just walked out and the minute I was out of the house the door slammed and I heard it lock. Then all at once the gravity of the situation hit me. There was no going back I did not have a home anymore. For the first time in my life I was truly terrified because I did not know what I was going to do or where I was going to go.
From that point on I knew my life was never going to be the same.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Tim and Julian Hitchhike to Halifax Final Chapter
September 4th 2002
3AM
I just get home from the bar and Dais sitting outside looking like a parent who just found out their child was a crack fiend prostitute. He had this I'm very disapointed in you look on his face, Julian just sepped over hime but Dan stopped me.
The conversation went something like this.
Dan: Dude we need to talk about Julian.
Me: Man can this wait I'm fucking tired and I have had a shitty day.
Dan: This will be quick you have to tell him he is gone.
Me: Why? what has he done?
Dan: He owes rent for this month and i think he's obnoxious
Me: First it's only the 4th of the month and he gets paid on friday. Second he's my best friend I have known him since I was 9 years old, you want him out you tell him but don't expect me to back you up.
With that I decided to leave and go to bed.
9:00 AM
I wake up to silence in the apartment oh god this is bliss, then I remember the day I had before and wonder when my boss is going to call and tell me not to bother coming in today or ever for that matter. I go out to the living room and Julian is there watching T.V.
Julian: I broke up with Melinda last night because she was just doing too much PCP.
Me: So do I bother getting ready for work or do I just start looking for a new job?
Julian: We should just get the fuck out of dodge for a bit
Me: Go where?
Julain: Grab a map.
Me: Why?
Julain: Just get one.
I run to my room and grab my atlas that I used in grade 10 geography.
Me: Here.
Julian flipped to a double page with a map of Canada.
Julain: Now close your eyes and point.
Nova Scotia is where I pointed so Halifax is where we went. We rook eveyting that either of us had of value to the pawn shop to sell to see how much money we could get. We ended up woth $169 total, we decided that it would be easier to take a bus to Montreal find day labour in Montreal save enough money to get to the next city so on and so forth. We bought our tickets and boarded the bus not letting anyone know, I was to pissed at my sister inlaw to bother calling my brother and besides Julian said it was alot easier to just disappear if no-one knew where you were going or had the ability to try and talk you out of it, I had to agree.
2 hours later we were in Downtown montreal with no clue where anything was, unfortunately becasue there was some huge concert at the Arena downtown that day nobody downtown Montreal, knew where they were either. We ended up walking arond aimlessly for what seemed like hours until we finally hit the strip. we decided that we were going to go see a movie,(the first in a string of bad descisions) for some reason the only one we had not seen at the there was Blue Crush and we decided what the hell lets go see it(the 2nd bad descision).We got out of the movie sometime close to midnight and becasue it was a Tuesday there was nothing going on. I had a freind in montreal but i could not get a hold of her anymore so we had no place to stay. nobody knew anything about the city and we were going nuts tryring to figure out what we were going to do so we made a descision(you can guess it was bad) we took a bus to the edge of the city and then decided to hitchhike the rest of the way to Halifax. The time was 1am. You can imagine the response we had.
After what seemed like forever but in reality was only probably 1 and a half to 2 hours we got out first ride, unfortunately for Julian they only spoke french and because am not in the least bilingual he was the one who had to stay up talkjing to them while I passed out in the back seat.
That driver drove us probably about 2 hours when we were let out we decided that it was too late for anything now we could not turn back so we pressed on. A guy stopped and told us that it was illeagal to hitchike in Quebec and that we should pray not to get caught which lead to us playing a game called is that a cop and diving into the ditch everytime we saw a car coming. you can imagine how well that worked for us trying to get rides. Eventually we were picked up by a trucker who drove us just outside of Quebec city. we grabbed breakfast at the local burger king and set out on our merry way once again. We got a few rides that took us 20 kms here 30kms there and were then picked up by a trucker not too far from the Quebec New Brunswick border. Now this trucker was cool as shit but at the same time he scared the crap out of us.
After 2 or 3 hours driving with this guy and shooting the shit about pretty much everything under the sun he asks us if we would like to see a picture of his wife. We are like sure(being friendly ehat harm can be done right?)Wrong he pulls out a stack of polaroids with pictures of his exeedingly obese wife naked in a cage wearing bondage gear with a ball gag in her mouth. Julian and I both almost open the door and jump out of the moving trcuk saying fuck it to all our gear and everything just to get away from this guy. His first question to us is: "Shes hot no?" we both in unison are like No!
The trucker then peoceeds to ask us if we need some sleep we are lik eyes we are bushed. He pulls the truck over and puts his table in the back down to make a bed, its small and i have to lay in the back while julian lays in the fron, it is a little tight so we have to lay looking at eachothers feet plus it just fetlt less gay that way. At least that was until he put up a leather mesh in front of us caging us in, he said it was for our safety in case he had to make a sudden stop, we thought he was going to hack us up in our sleep for saying his wife was not hot.
He lets us out at the nova Scotia New Brunswick border we are both happy to be so far and ecstatic to be away from him. Its approximately 1am on September 6th and we figure we are making great time. We grab a pack of cigarretes and some food with the last of our money, and then decide once again to be on our merry. We walk across the border and start at it we get about 5 kilometers and say fuck it not a single ride, so what do we do we vreak into the welcome center at the border and sleep there till morning hoping that that will bring us better fortune.
It's roughly 7:30 am when we wake up and head for the highway there is little traffic but it was more than the night before so we think we are good. So we walk, and we walk, and we walk some more, its is 1:30 in the afternoon before we get a ride we get a trucker who drives us to 6kms outside of the city limits. Now had we been familiar with the city then as we would become later we would have known that we could have gotten off at the same overpass he dropped us at and then caught a bus downtown therefore avoiding the 2 massive bridges going over Halifax harbour, from Dartmouth to Halifax. The reason we had to avoid the bridges was for one simple reason anytime Julian was near anything high he turned white and began to shake like a child, not because he was afraind of bridges but becasue everytime he crossed one he had an uncontrolable urge to see of he could fly(this stemmed from years of reading comic books and trying to be like Superman. Also I think it may have had alot to do with Julian reading the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy there is a line in one of the books that says "There is an art to flying or rather an knack, and the knack lies in flinging yourself violently at the ground and missing" there are many times when Julian and I were younger where he would suddenly out of nowhere fling himself at the ground just on the off chance that that day would be the day that he missed.)
As we were dropped in Dartmouth by our last ride and not knowing about the ferry acroos the harbour julian almost made the conious descision to go back to Ottawa, he was adamant that there was no way he was walking across that bridge. Eventually after alot of convincing we began our trek across the bridge I have never laughed so hard in my life as when a large semi went passed and shook the entire bridge I only laughed because it was the first time in 13 years of friendship that I had ever thought Julian was going to cry. Of course he didn't but just the thought that it might happen was good enough for me.
Finally we were in Halifax and thus our journey was over, we had reached our destination.
3AM
I just get home from the bar and Dais sitting outside looking like a parent who just found out their child was a crack fiend prostitute. He had this I'm very disapointed in you look on his face, Julian just sepped over hime but Dan stopped me.
The conversation went something like this.
Dan: Dude we need to talk about Julian.
Me: Man can this wait I'm fucking tired and I have had a shitty day.
Dan: This will be quick you have to tell him he is gone.
Me: Why? what has he done?
Dan: He owes rent for this month and i think he's obnoxious
Me: First it's only the 4th of the month and he gets paid on friday. Second he's my best friend I have known him since I was 9 years old, you want him out you tell him but don't expect me to back you up.
With that I decided to leave and go to bed.
9:00 AM
I wake up to silence in the apartment oh god this is bliss, then I remember the day I had before and wonder when my boss is going to call and tell me not to bother coming in today or ever for that matter. I go out to the living room and Julian is there watching T.V.
Julian: I broke up with Melinda last night because she was just doing too much PCP.
Me: So do I bother getting ready for work or do I just start looking for a new job?
Julian: We should just get the fuck out of dodge for a bit
Me: Go where?
Julain: Grab a map.
Me: Why?
Julain: Just get one.
I run to my room and grab my atlas that I used in grade 10 geography.
Me: Here.
Julian flipped to a double page with a map of Canada.
Julain: Now close your eyes and point.
Nova Scotia is where I pointed so Halifax is where we went. We rook eveyting that either of us had of value to the pawn shop to sell to see how much money we could get. We ended up woth $169 total, we decided that it would be easier to take a bus to Montreal find day labour in Montreal save enough money to get to the next city so on and so forth. We bought our tickets and boarded the bus not letting anyone know, I was to pissed at my sister inlaw to bother calling my brother and besides Julian said it was alot easier to just disappear if no-one knew where you were going or had the ability to try and talk you out of it, I had to agree.
2 hours later we were in Downtown montreal with no clue where anything was, unfortunately becasue there was some huge concert at the Arena downtown that day nobody downtown Montreal, knew where they were either. We ended up walking arond aimlessly for what seemed like hours until we finally hit the strip. we decided that we were going to go see a movie,(the first in a string of bad descisions) for some reason the only one we had not seen at the there was Blue Crush and we decided what the hell lets go see it(the 2nd bad descision).We got out of the movie sometime close to midnight and becasue it was a Tuesday there was nothing going on. I had a freind in montreal but i could not get a hold of her anymore so we had no place to stay. nobody knew anything about the city and we were going nuts tryring to figure out what we were going to do so we made a descision(you can guess it was bad) we took a bus to the edge of the city and then decided to hitchhike the rest of the way to Halifax. The time was 1am. You can imagine the response we had.
After what seemed like forever but in reality was only probably 1 and a half to 2 hours we got out first ride, unfortunately for Julian they only spoke french and because am not in the least bilingual he was the one who had to stay up talkjing to them while I passed out in the back seat.
That driver drove us probably about 2 hours when we were let out we decided that it was too late for anything now we could not turn back so we pressed on. A guy stopped and told us that it was illeagal to hitchike in Quebec and that we should pray not to get caught which lead to us playing a game called is that a cop and diving into the ditch everytime we saw a car coming. you can imagine how well that worked for us trying to get rides. Eventually we were picked up by a trucker who drove us just outside of Quebec city. we grabbed breakfast at the local burger king and set out on our merry way once again. We got a few rides that took us 20 kms here 30kms there and were then picked up by a trucker not too far from the Quebec New Brunswick border. Now this trucker was cool as shit but at the same time he scared the crap out of us.
After 2 or 3 hours driving with this guy and shooting the shit about pretty much everything under the sun he asks us if we would like to see a picture of his wife. We are like sure(being friendly ehat harm can be done right?)Wrong he pulls out a stack of polaroids with pictures of his exeedingly obese wife naked in a cage wearing bondage gear with a ball gag in her mouth. Julian and I both almost open the door and jump out of the moving trcuk saying fuck it to all our gear and everything just to get away from this guy. His first question to us is: "Shes hot no?" we both in unison are like No!
The trucker then peoceeds to ask us if we need some sleep we are lik eyes we are bushed. He pulls the truck over and puts his table in the back down to make a bed, its small and i have to lay in the back while julian lays in the fron, it is a little tight so we have to lay looking at eachothers feet plus it just fetlt less gay that way. At least that was until he put up a leather mesh in front of us caging us in, he said it was for our safety in case he had to make a sudden stop, we thought he was going to hack us up in our sleep for saying his wife was not hot.
He lets us out at the nova Scotia New Brunswick border we are both happy to be so far and ecstatic to be away from him. Its approximately 1am on September 6th and we figure we are making great time. We grab a pack of cigarretes and some food with the last of our money, and then decide once again to be on our merry. We walk across the border and start at it we get about 5 kilometers and say fuck it not a single ride, so what do we do we vreak into the welcome center at the border and sleep there till morning hoping that that will bring us better fortune.
It's roughly 7:30 am when we wake up and head for the highway there is little traffic but it was more than the night before so we think we are good. So we walk, and we walk, and we walk some more, its is 1:30 in the afternoon before we get a ride we get a trucker who drives us to 6kms outside of the city limits. Now had we been familiar with the city then as we would become later we would have known that we could have gotten off at the same overpass he dropped us at and then caught a bus downtown therefore avoiding the 2 massive bridges going over Halifax harbour, from Dartmouth to Halifax. The reason we had to avoid the bridges was for one simple reason anytime Julian was near anything high he turned white and began to shake like a child, not because he was afraind of bridges but becasue everytime he crossed one he had an uncontrolable urge to see of he could fly(this stemmed from years of reading comic books and trying to be like Superman. Also I think it may have had alot to do with Julian reading the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy there is a line in one of the books that says "There is an art to flying or rather an knack, and the knack lies in flinging yourself violently at the ground and missing" there are many times when Julian and I were younger where he would suddenly out of nowhere fling himself at the ground just on the off chance that that day would be the day that he missed.)
As we were dropped in Dartmouth by our last ride and not knowing about the ferry acroos the harbour julian almost made the conious descision to go back to Ottawa, he was adamant that there was no way he was walking across that bridge. Eventually after alot of convincing we began our trek across the bridge I have never laughed so hard in my life as when a large semi went passed and shook the entire bridge I only laughed because it was the first time in 13 years of friendship that I had ever thought Julian was going to cry. Of course he didn't but just the thought that it might happen was good enough for me.
Finally we were in Halifax and thus our journey was over, we had reached our destination.
Tim and Julian Hitchhike to Halifax Part 2
September 3rd 2002
So after getting home at 7:10am I am glad to see that I don't actualy start work till 1pm so I am able to get some sleep. I set my alarm clock for 11am that ways Julain and I both have time to get showered and shit before we have to be at work. I hit the sack and fall asleep for what seems like nanoseconds when Dan knocks on my door there is someone on the phone for me. I answer it very grogilly, it is my sister in law Joan, now I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, I do remember somethnig about me not spending enough time with my neice and nephew or talking to my brother as often as she thought I should and I remember ahnging up on her and turning off the phone to go back to sleep. But once again Dan and Charlene are fighting this time Julian gets invilved and eventually so do I. We all hate her even Dan and today is the straw the breaks the camels back and Dan boots her to the curb. We decide that tonight being a Monday we are going to hit the Bistro in Hull say hi to vince chill with Kev and the rest of the crowd and celebrate our good fortune that a)I am 23 years old and b) Charlene is out of our lives.
Julain and I make it to work on time and get dressed in our shirts and ties. We both clock in and hit the phones. Our job consists of both lead generation and then getting the leads in for open houses and trying to get them to buy a membership to our exclusive club, it was a great position and i enjoyed it immensely. Julian and I Had only been at the Job for roughly 2 weeks but we both really liked it. My sister inlaw decided that she was going to put my job in jeopardy by calling me at work and being rude to the receptionist when she said she was unable to transfer her to me(she just worked in a different department it was not possible) My boss gave me a bit of a reaming but it was understandable had I been in his position I would have done the same(none the less I was still really pissed at my sister in law). My day continued Rather uneventfully. It came time to do our open houses for the evening and none of mine decided to show up, my boss was a little upset and decided to hand me one of his deals to close. It should have been an open shut deal but i screwed it up and cost my boss $2600. Needless to say he was pissed and I was pretty sure that i no longer had a job.
Work was finished, and Julain and I headed home to comence with the celebrating, I was getting a little pissed at the fact that my sister had called me twice in one day and both times it was to bitch at me and neither of them did she wish me a happy birthday. We got home showered and headed to the bar. Julain had made the mistake of telling his Girlfreind Melinda the story of me and the girl from the night before(I'm sorry if you read this sometime and are pissed that I don't remember your name but such is life sorry) I was taling to a girl that I had been interested in for some time, she was a friend of a friend and for the first time I had the guts to actually start hitting on her and making advances. Melinda(Julian's girlfriend and her roomate Ang) decide that they are going to give me my birthday gift its a nice homemade card that says on the front. You Had SEX!!! I open the card and inside in big bold letters "WITH A GIRL", I look beside me and the girl I was talking to is nowhere to be seen, I contemplate stabbing myself in the neck with a pencil or trying to slash my own throat with a dull spoon.
The night wears down to an end and Julain and I start walking home Dan had left earlier so he wa not able to give us a ride. On the walk home Julian and I discuss whether or not I will have a job tomorrow when we get to work, the conclusion we both come to is porbably not. It is no longer my Birtday and I regard it as quite possibly the worst birthday I have ever had quite possibly one of the worst days I have ever experienced and I conciously just decide that I want this day to be over thank god I am on my way home I can sleep.
but just my luck this day is not through with me yet.
To Be Continued.....
So after getting home at 7:10am I am glad to see that I don't actualy start work till 1pm so I am able to get some sleep. I set my alarm clock for 11am that ways Julain and I both have time to get showered and shit before we have to be at work. I hit the sack and fall asleep for what seems like nanoseconds when Dan knocks on my door there is someone on the phone for me. I answer it very grogilly, it is my sister in law Joan, now I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, I do remember somethnig about me not spending enough time with my neice and nephew or talking to my brother as often as she thought I should and I remember ahnging up on her and turning off the phone to go back to sleep. But once again Dan and Charlene are fighting this time Julian gets invilved and eventually so do I. We all hate her even Dan and today is the straw the breaks the camels back and Dan boots her to the curb. We decide that tonight being a Monday we are going to hit the Bistro in Hull say hi to vince chill with Kev and the rest of the crowd and celebrate our good fortune that a)I am 23 years old and b) Charlene is out of our lives.
Julain and I make it to work on time and get dressed in our shirts and ties. We both clock in and hit the phones. Our job consists of both lead generation and then getting the leads in for open houses and trying to get them to buy a membership to our exclusive club, it was a great position and i enjoyed it immensely. Julian and I Had only been at the Job for roughly 2 weeks but we both really liked it. My sister inlaw decided that she was going to put my job in jeopardy by calling me at work and being rude to the receptionist when she said she was unable to transfer her to me(she just worked in a different department it was not possible) My boss gave me a bit of a reaming but it was understandable had I been in his position I would have done the same(none the less I was still really pissed at my sister in law). My day continued Rather uneventfully. It came time to do our open houses for the evening and none of mine decided to show up, my boss was a little upset and decided to hand me one of his deals to close. It should have been an open shut deal but i screwed it up and cost my boss $2600. Needless to say he was pissed and I was pretty sure that i no longer had a job.
Work was finished, and Julain and I headed home to comence with the celebrating, I was getting a little pissed at the fact that my sister had called me twice in one day and both times it was to bitch at me and neither of them did she wish me a happy birthday. We got home showered and headed to the bar. Julain had made the mistake of telling his Girlfreind Melinda the story of me and the girl from the night before(I'm sorry if you read this sometime and are pissed that I don't remember your name but such is life sorry) I was taling to a girl that I had been interested in for some time, she was a friend of a friend and for the first time I had the guts to actually start hitting on her and making advances. Melinda(Julian's girlfriend and her roomate Ang) decide that they are going to give me my birthday gift its a nice homemade card that says on the front. You Had SEX!!! I open the card and inside in big bold letters "WITH A GIRL", I look beside me and the girl I was talking to is nowhere to be seen, I contemplate stabbing myself in the neck with a pencil or trying to slash my own throat with a dull spoon.
The night wears down to an end and Julain and I start walking home Dan had left earlier so he wa not able to give us a ride. On the walk home Julian and I discuss whether or not I will have a job tomorrow when we get to work, the conclusion we both come to is porbably not. It is no longer my Birtday and I regard it as quite possibly the worst birthday I have ever had quite possibly one of the worst days I have ever experienced and I conciously just decide that I want this day to be over thank god I am on my way home I can sleep.
but just my luck this day is not through with me yet.
To Be Continued.....
Tim And Julian Hitchhike to Halifax Part 1
September 2nd 2002
Rod comes to pick me up so that we as usual can drive around the city mindlessly smoking a ton of pot and checking out chicks until we feel like finding a bar and going in. most of our weekends end up like this. We drive around downtown Ottawa and the Byward Market blazed out of our minds while we look at a ton of women that frankly I would never get but Rod can't seem to avoid. I beg him, to tell me his secret, I offer him money, but he does not tell me. I begin to picture Rod at home selling his soul to the devil and frankly yes everyone the Devil does look like Ned Flanders Deal with it.
We continue driving till roughly 10 or 11 pm and thats when the bars begin to pick up. On this night we decide first that we are going to hit the fire station on Elgin street, its a pretty good bar I had frequented it quite often years before with my Ex-Fiance Crystal and My brothers but had not been there in quite some time. The bar was not much different than I remembered they still had the hottest beer girls and shooter girls that would all flirt with you simply so that you would give them more money.
There are 4 different kinds of waitresses/bar matrons.
1. The Nice Girl. This girl is the kind of girl that will be nice to you make polite conversation laugh at your jokes and ask your name. These girls can be deadly to your reputation simply because you actually believe them and end up looking like a complete idiot when you try to show off to your freinds by asking her phone number and she smacks you down like Andre the giant Swatting a mosquito.
2. The Bitch. This girl is honestly my favorite simply because there are no mixed signals, this girls does not give a shit about you or anyone of your friends. She does not flirt with you she barely even looks at you, but you are still totally happy to give her your money for the simple fact that she is smoking hot and you would give your her your left nut and John the baptists head on a platter for a run at her in the sack.
3. The Psychopath. This girl tries way to hard she flirts with you she practiacally strips for you and shoves her panties in your face just for the ability to serve your drinks. Most guys can see through this total facade and get away from them because honestly most often with these girls your order is wrong and if you were to even try to date her she would end up slitting her wrists in a seedy bar washroom the first time you told her no to Dancing.The only guys that seem to respond to this kind of girl are basically the kind of guys you found crying in the bathroom stalls at lunch hour in high school. Basically picture the 1 or 2 guys in your high school that you think would have been capable of pulling a Columbine and there you go.
4. The PDA Beer Girl. This girls is my favorite cause she lets you know exactly what she wants, these are generally the bar girls You will end up going home with(but make no mistake even if she tells you you are the first.. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST, You won't be the last, and you should probably laugh yourself all the way to the free clinc the next morning to get tested. )
The best thing about these girls is that you can not mistake it if they are interested in you, they give you free drinks they slip you their phone number in with one of them and they spend so much time talking to just you that she should probably be fired.
For some reason all I can muster on this night is the bitch or psychopoath all the other girls are too busy with other people. Rod anad I decide to hit Club Iguana instead, we get there sometime near 11:30 pm and order a couple of drinks I check out this one girl Heather who I met once before at a rave when the Club Atomic was still open. I remembered offering her a Jolly rancher and having her attack me physically(in a good way) we ended up making out for most of the party(God i miss E). We chat for a bit, and for once it looks like the night might be looking up, then her boyfriend comes up and puts the Kebosh on my hopes with her. But in our coversation I had mentioned that September 3rd was my bday and she announced it to the dj after midnight. I got offered drink after drink from people I had known from times hanging out at the bar before(friends of friends of my ex Crystal). By the time the bar closes I am so tanked I don't care that I am once again going home without getting the opportunity to dip my wick.
Rod and I are sitting outside the bar and we mention that it would be awesome to go swimming 2 girls pipe up behind him that they are going swimming at their place and ask us if we would like to join them. The girls are moderately cute(or at least thats what the beer goggles say) so we jump on it and are off. We do the swimming thing and then end up hooking up and before I know it we are being ushered out of the house, apparenlty one of them is leaving that morning for Guelph University and needs us to leave(funny I thought school started in august) I could care less I was happy it was my birthday and I had gotten laid. Time to go home and get some sleep before I have to be at work.
Or So I thought.
To be Continued.
Rod comes to pick me up so that we as usual can drive around the city mindlessly smoking a ton of pot and checking out chicks until we feel like finding a bar and going in. most of our weekends end up like this. We drive around downtown Ottawa and the Byward Market blazed out of our minds while we look at a ton of women that frankly I would never get but Rod can't seem to avoid. I beg him, to tell me his secret, I offer him money, but he does not tell me. I begin to picture Rod at home selling his soul to the devil and frankly yes everyone the Devil does look like Ned Flanders Deal with it.
We continue driving till roughly 10 or 11 pm and thats when the bars begin to pick up. On this night we decide first that we are going to hit the fire station on Elgin street, its a pretty good bar I had frequented it quite often years before with my Ex-Fiance Crystal and My brothers but had not been there in quite some time. The bar was not much different than I remembered they still had the hottest beer girls and shooter girls that would all flirt with you simply so that you would give them more money.
There are 4 different kinds of waitresses/bar matrons.
1. The Nice Girl. This girl is the kind of girl that will be nice to you make polite conversation laugh at your jokes and ask your name. These girls can be deadly to your reputation simply because you actually believe them and end up looking like a complete idiot when you try to show off to your freinds by asking her phone number and she smacks you down like Andre the giant Swatting a mosquito.
2. The Bitch. This girl is honestly my favorite simply because there are no mixed signals, this girls does not give a shit about you or anyone of your friends. She does not flirt with you she barely even looks at you, but you are still totally happy to give her your money for the simple fact that she is smoking hot and you would give your her your left nut and John the baptists head on a platter for a run at her in the sack.
3. The Psychopath. This girl tries way to hard she flirts with you she practiacally strips for you and shoves her panties in your face just for the ability to serve your drinks. Most guys can see through this total facade and get away from them because honestly most often with these girls your order is wrong and if you were to even try to date her she would end up slitting her wrists in a seedy bar washroom the first time you told her no to Dancing.The only guys that seem to respond to this kind of girl are basically the kind of guys you found crying in the bathroom stalls at lunch hour in high school. Basically picture the 1 or 2 guys in your high school that you think would have been capable of pulling a Columbine and there you go.
4. The PDA Beer Girl. This girls is my favorite cause she lets you know exactly what she wants, these are generally the bar girls You will end up going home with(but make no mistake even if she tells you you are the first.. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST, You won't be the last, and you should probably laugh yourself all the way to the free clinc the next morning to get tested. )
The best thing about these girls is that you can not mistake it if they are interested in you, they give you free drinks they slip you their phone number in with one of them and they spend so much time talking to just you that she should probably be fired.
For some reason all I can muster on this night is the bitch or psychopoath all the other girls are too busy with other people. Rod anad I decide to hit Club Iguana instead, we get there sometime near 11:30 pm and order a couple of drinks I check out this one girl Heather who I met once before at a rave when the Club Atomic was still open. I remembered offering her a Jolly rancher and having her attack me physically(in a good way) we ended up making out for most of the party(God i miss E). We chat for a bit, and for once it looks like the night might be looking up, then her boyfriend comes up and puts the Kebosh on my hopes with her. But in our coversation I had mentioned that September 3rd was my bday and she announced it to the dj after midnight. I got offered drink after drink from people I had known from times hanging out at the bar before(friends of friends of my ex Crystal). By the time the bar closes I am so tanked I don't care that I am once again going home without getting the opportunity to dip my wick.
Rod and I are sitting outside the bar and we mention that it would be awesome to go swimming 2 girls pipe up behind him that they are going swimming at their place and ask us if we would like to join them. The girls are moderately cute(or at least thats what the beer goggles say) so we jump on it and are off. We do the swimming thing and then end up hooking up and before I know it we are being ushered out of the house, apparenlty one of them is leaving that morning for Guelph University and needs us to leave(funny I thought school started in august) I could care less I was happy it was my birthday and I had gotten laid. Time to go home and get some sleep before I have to be at work.
Or So I thought.
To be Continued.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Sunday June 16th 2006
Welcome to my blog, for all those deciding to read this this is going to be a daily posting of my thoughts on love, dating, my daughter and thoughts of homicide years before she even becomes a teenager. not to mention other folies in my life leading up to where I am today.
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